Scroggles!

In previous posts I discussed corporal punishment and my Texan friends' acceptance of it. Looks like CNN followed my lead.

While James Dobson is against corporal punishment in middle and high schools, he agrees with teachers physically harming the young and vulnerable elementary school students:

"It can be useful for elementary students, especially with amateur clowns (as opposed to hard-core troublemakers). For this reason, I am opposed to abolishing spanking in elementary schools because we have systematically eliminated the tools with which teachers have traditionally backed up their word. We're now down to a precious few. Let's not go any further in that direction."

“Ok,” belted out Louis after he gave the crowd time to read the memo, “I say we begin the process straight-away!  Now all go out there and enforce these!”

 The crowd rose to their feet, as most of the men and younger women went out to the world with their new mission.  Many however stayed back to get a closer glimpse of the man meat that is Louis.  Oddly enough, those that stayed back all fit into the same demographic – female, elderly, and handicapped.  Luckily, Louis was able to avoid the motorized scooters and walking canes and duck out the back door. 

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“One last thing I would like to tell you people, as I know your strength at the national level is incomparable,” Louis said as he addressed the entire New Mexican state government, “I would like to initiate a few plans to humiliate Hawaiians in the mainland.  You know, things we can do that might make them go back to the ‘Volcanic region to the west.’  My ideas include the following,” Louis said as he passed out memo’s to the crowd. 

(the memo is a picture, and I don't know how to paste it in. please email me for the story so you can see it. email address: adam.pasha@yahoo.com)

“Well…” Louis had gotten so used to his charismatic effect on older women it didn’t even phase him, he knew he had the mojo.  “Well if no one would like to take the floor, I have ideas on both topics.”

“Regarding my first question, I would like nothing more than to offer the right of the 50th state of the United States to our friend to the south – Puerto Rico.” Louis paused for a brief moment for dramatic effect, and then continued, “the Puerto Ricans have waited too long for this.  They have sat there idly, waiting and waiting for us to grant them in.  They are good people and they deserve this way more than those Hawaiians!  I mean think about it, what type of people put ham and pineapple on pizza?!!”

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A few blocks away, a grand assembly was being met to discuss “urgent issues.” 

“Here, here,” stated the man with the gauntlet, “Can we begin now please?  We have a lot to discuss.  I would like to open the floor up to Mr. Louis, who has planned the meeting.”

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“Which brings me to my problem with Mexican food, my excessive diarrhea, and the coconut cream that would cure my ailment.” Paco said gruffly, bringing Johnny Tsunami back to the conversation and out of his temporary state of depression.
“You see, the path to taking the right of statehood away from a state is a long and dangerous one.  One that may take several months.  I don’t know if you learned this in school, but when they took the statehood away from South Delaware in 1824 the process lasted five months!”

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After my last post I was a little concerned that I had done some bad math, or made some fundmental error in my logic.

However, it appears others have done the calculation too...

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